Sarah Steele and Janeane Garofalo star in Russian Transport

I don’t get to a lot of plays that I can write about here on THE SEX FILES. Every so often something sexy will come out and I’ll try and score some press to it, but generally I find sex isn’t so very well represented on stage these days (certainly not on Broadway) and when it is it’s not always so very sexy.

So keeping in this vein I saw a not so very sexy Russian Transport. playing at the Acorn Theatre at The New Group (410 W. 42^nd St,) through 3/10, and while it really is not specifically a sex play (about or centered around the naughty act or anything even close) there is intrigue and a good tremor of sexual terror running under the two hours plus.

I just wish I could recommend it.

This is a case of one of those ‘great casts, not so great piece’ that I know we have all seen from time to time. I often get this with movies where some heavyweight like a Meryl Streep plays an amazing part in a lackluster movie and her performance makes us forget the film. I wish I could say this for Erika Sheffer ‘s Russian Transport, but a play is a different experience than the old flickers.

Taking place as it does in the modern-day Russian Jewish community of Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn right here at home, the cast does a fantastic job with a difficult language (at least we have to assume a heavy Russian accent would be difficult for American actors). I applaud a startling strong performance by Jeneane Garofalo as the tough matriarch of this disjointed little crew (and I call them a crew for a few reasons), Daniel Oreskes, Raviv Ullman, the truly spectacular Sarah Steele handling more than a few roles (even as she does so briefly) and the menacing (this is where the sexual menace comes from) Morgan Spector. Unfortunately, one figures out exactly what is happening and pretty much where it’s going to go in this predictable two act and though the cast is delivering one hundred percent, I found I didn’t much care what they are delivering or transporting…figuratively and literally.

The set design here is tops, as it always is at The New Group, outfitted by Derek McLane and Dialect Coach Doug Paulson needs to be commented as well, but Spector is used too infrequently, although his buff and snaky self is on stage a lot.

Russian Transport is playing at the Acorn Theatre at The New Group (410 W. 42^nd Street) through March 10, 2012. For more information, visit www.thenewgroup.org.

Magazines like Hustler, Playboy, Penthouse (group them together as you like) are plugging away with both healthy online presences and their flagship publications (Larry Flint’s Hustler alone has been in existence since 1974). This month’s Hustler sees not only the usual naughtiness but an interview with Charles Manson prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi (who some say wrote the definitive book about the Mason atrocities Helter Skelter and others claim got it all wrong…others being Charlie himself). Penthouse features Brett Rossi as Penthouse Pet of the Month and a rundown of some Valentine lingerie.

Bust, a decidedly different mag than those mentioned above, is for the discriminating semi-sassy gal and the latest issue features what they are calling “Secret Styles Of Fashion Rebels” and a piece of Myra Rudolph, that super talented lady of SNL and Bridesmaids fame.

Their online site is: http://www.bust.com/

Bitch magazine sees women get even sassier-bitchy as the name implies-and this month’s issue includes a Q&A with “progressive” sportswriter Dave Zirin,  a piece called “Gender Rolls” and one called “Surrender (to) Dorothy-Imperialism and the subaltern in the Oz of past, present, and future.” I know Bitch is quite unlike a sex/fetish mag or even like the usual woman’s magazine like Cosmo or Vogue even, but it has a good smart bent to it and it hits matters sexual and worldly.

Find it here: http://bitchmagazine.org/ and on newsstands.

Hitting matters specifically sexual, actual specific to the latex fashion lifetsylers’ world, is Von Gutenberg magazine, a publication I have written about before. The brain child of Erik Von Gutenberg, well-known photographer in the latex fashion field, issue #6 of the magazine, featuring cover girl MiMi Cherry, models Bianca Beauchamp, Miss Mishief and Deanna Storm, Von G also has articles, fetish party round-ups  and a “Top 10 Flirt Tips” piece.

It can be found here: http://www.vongutenberg.com/shop/Von-Gutenberg-Magazine-issue6.html and in retail outlets around the world.

So get out and spend some coin at your local Hudson News or corner candy store. We owe it to these and other magazine to keep good print magazines printing as much as we visit our favorite sexy web sites.

1.) Please, no more pants with words written on the back. The rule of thumb on this one is…if you are wearing the word “Juicy” “Hottie” “Princess” or any other sexually positive, more-than-slight come-on one-word moniker on your ass you probably are not a hottie, have maybe drunk way too much juice and are the Princess of a kingdom only in your own mind. Let’s stop this trend for 2012! (and really, if the word Princess fits across your ass you probably have some other stuff to address as well).

2.) Please, can our starlets stop loosing so much weight? Have you seen the recent pictures of Snookie, all 98 lbs of her now? Isn’t there an old axiom that says ‘real women have curves’. We have all seen how this dangerous anorexic trend continuing still in Hollywood trickles down to our pre-pubescent daughters. Really, this is some serious shit in a column I usually try to keep light-hearted: too skinny is none too healthy.

3.) Please, more dirty movies. I don’t mean the kind we see from our friends at Vivid or Wicked or Digital Playground (though I also want our friends from those porn companies to keep doing what they do), I mean good old fashioned boob-baring, dirty-joke telling sex comedies like “Porkies” (though we don’t need to remake movies). We get something bawdy now about once a year, usually in summer,  but I say give us a few like “Super Bad” and “Wedding Crashers” even, keep the boobs bouncing and the naughty jokes a comin’.

4.) Please stop dishing the political sex dirt. As this election year amps-up you just know there is going to be lots of mud slinging. I am hoping that we stick to the issues and we can all maybe stop the tittering we do about these mens’ personal lives. I’m not sure it really much matters if a political hopeful had an affair or not, if some guy is dumb enough to be twittering pics of his pee pee or if some state attorney used to be a dom or is even one presently when she is not working in the office.

5.) Please, stop posting the hacked celebrity nudes. Yes, I will admit I looked just like everybody else at Scarlett’s boobs (I even blogged about it here, but really, we’re all pretty much naked when we take off our clothes; is Scarlett Johansson’s bod really any more fascinating than anyone else’s just because she is a celeb?

Like all of you, I am just hoping for pretty much a quiet existence, maybe a few more shekels and the good health of the people I love. If I can get even a few of the above attended to it might be a very sexy new year after all. One can hope, can’t one?

Kandi is also now a sex toy designer.

The lady was recently at our very own Babeland down in Soho and the turn-out was just spectacular. She was promoting her Bedroom Kandi line, a set of 5 toys-presently-and a lube. Her lipstick-size vibrator is USB rechargeable, whisper-quiet, features 3 speeds and 4 patterns and as all the rest of Kandi’s products are, it’s made of ‘body friendly materials.’ Her ‘Hold On To Me’ (the product I happened to get my hands on, thanks to Babeland) is a very well-made Kegel exercise sphere set, all weighted different, in singles and pairs, interchangeable in some cases, but securely enclosed in their own individual cases, with some attached to little pull strings. They come in a nice case with their own draw-string purse. See the video here. I think the double weights would be most effective from what I could tell with my limited Kegel knowledge.

The “Rise and Shine” massager is more or less a vibrating cock-ring with a spot for a lady to get up on and…well you know the rest, just look at the picture. The “Make Me Over” ‘discreet massager’ comes in its own mirrored compact case-this looks very much like a naughty compact! And of course, a girl’s best friend, a dual-slim rabbit-like vibe that can beat wirelessly to your favorite music.

The Atlanta housewife also has a water-based, botanically infused lubricant she creatively calls Natural Intimate Lubricant.

The Bedroom Kandi line is not cheap, but then again the stuff is not cheaply made if those Kegel balls are any indicator. And when it comes to stuff you are putting you-know-where it is certainly worth it to pay a little more.

Check out the toys at bedroomkandi.ohmibod.com and of course, our good friends at Babeland at babeland.com.

…introduced you to NYC’s own Bare Naked Bake Sale company, doing sweet things for equally sweet causes with as little clothes on as possible.

…trotted out various reviews of releases from my friends at Wicked, Vivid and my extra-special friends at Digital Playground who have allowed me to interview some of their super wonderful ladies again this year.

…reported on Exxxotica and Tes Fest, both held just across the river in NJ.

…reported on my hopefully-to-be-yearly-round-up of the New York Film Festival and how one of those films-Corman’s World: Exploits of a Hollywood Rebel related to us on THE SEX FILES.

…had a great talk with NYC filmmaker Mark Mori about his Bettie Page Reveals All movie we are all waiting anxiously to see.

…cultivated my relationship with the wonderful Tashen bookstore and publisher where we get all manner of amazing photo-essays, from the historical to the truly naughty like Liz Earls’ Days of The Cougar, The Outrageous Visual Diary of A Sexual Adventurer  and Will Santillo’s La Patite Mort.

….clicked on some sexy stuff online, from CF Publications’ spanking publications to Femmefetalefilms.

…introduced you to magazine publishers like our friends at Von Gutenberg Magazine (their issue #6 coming at the beginning of the 2012).

…got a little peak into the real-doll world of Sinthetics.

…reported from sexy spots in L.A. when I was out and about during that terrible three weeks of brutal January weather of 2011 (but I was thinking about you, don’t worry).

I know this time of year we all start ruminating about what we have accomplished and compare it to what we haven’t. The chasm between the two can certainly depress even the most positive of us but I hope you can see your way clear to enjoying whatever holiday you celebrate-if you celebrate any of them-that you can just have a nog and a nosh and cuddle with friends and family and not think too harshly on where you may or may not be in your life. The way I see it, as long as you are out there trying to live your life and not simply being a spectator of it, as long as you are trying to treat people nice and as long as occasionally you get in a few good moments for a warm tickle or some moaning with a partner or two, or even alone, I think you’re on the right track.

I wish you and your families a very peaceful, happy and most of all, healthy 2012.

All joking aside, here is another run down on some new sex stuff happening via the web.

Enjoy…

1.) Australia company Sensuous has announced its latest product: “Edge.” This is a ‘delay gel’ for men, and for those familiar with a numbing sensation on their southern region: “Most delay gels or sprays are formulated using lipocaine or other similar numbing derivatives,” Keith Jones of Sensuous explains. “We wanted to make Edge different and to fall in line with our philosophy of using natural products wherever we can. The active ingredient comes from an ancient tribal herb which has been proven and tested over generations.  We are extremely pleased with the outcome and we really believe Edge will be a great seller.”

Supposedly the mix of the gel created a warm tingling yet will stave off a man’s quick rise (if you will) to orgasm; the man is kept on…‘Edge.’

Further details can be found at Sensuous.com.au 

Speaking of penises…

2.) Architect Irakli Kiziria has developed some new condoms with Louis Vuitton’s well-known brown packaging. The luxury rubbers are priced at $68 each and can be found here. They aren’t available in stores. Supposedly Kiziria has no affiliation with Louis Vuitton, creating the rubbers through a project called Design Provocation, affiliated with World AIDS Day. The proceeds from these condom’s sales will be donated to amFAR.

3.) For those of us who like silent black and while bondage films (really, don’t we all?), have a little look-see at the short award winning film by Caeser Pink called “Shibari.” This 8 minute plus short is part of the film-maker’s Meditations series of black and white films. If you are into this kind of thing or even mildly curious, Caeser’s film will tickle you in all those places you might like to have tied. You can watch the film here.

4.) The European Union-thought of by plenty in Europe as boring and even a bit invasive-is attempting to sex-up its image through its new YouTube channel the EU YouTube site.

Alongside more mundane videos titled “For a Smoke-Free Europe” and “The Reform of the Common Market Organization for Sugar” they are sneaking in stuff like “Film Lovers Will Love This.” This film (and more like it to follow) is part of a series of short outtakes highlighting an EU fund that helps distribute films made in Europe across the continent.

Although met with plenty of criticism, Margot Wallström, European Commissioner for Institutional Relations and Communication Strategy, said  “It is very important for the commission to use all the means at its disposal when it comes to communicating with European citizens.”

5.) Adult entertainment living-legend Peter North’s monster ‘pop shots’ are now something you can try too. The brand new Peter North’s Decorator app for Android platform devices will have you decorating your photos just like the infamous porn star/director. The app loads images selected by the user and then allows them to ‘fire shots’ paintball-style! You can adjust the volume and color of shots and Pete’s voice adds to the action, encouraging shooters and spouting frisky one-liners.

“Coming up with something like this that is so original and groundbreaking ranks high in my things that I’ve done during my career in adult,” North told XBIZ’s Dan Miller. The app is available here for $2.99.

Random holiday happenings, news and places to shop fill-out this time of year. Yes, here in New York City we have the ubiquitous Rockefeller Christmas Tree, the chestnuts roasting and shop windows resplendent with lights, but there is so much more to Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa.

Below are a few interesting sexy items for the roll-up to the holidays…

1.) It seems a store down south wants to help out in the “Toys for Tots” charity. Pleasures, an adult store in Alabama is collecting donations for the Marine kids charity and offering an adult toy with every kid’s toy customers drop-off. According to the store’s manager Terra Jeffrey: “Pleasures has been donating to charities for the 19 years that it’s been established, and we feel like our donations should not be any different that anybody else’s donations, because the kids don’t care where the toys came from, as long as they get toys.” What Jeffrey is defending is TforT reps making Pleasures remove the “Toys for Tots” logo from all the stores’ slogans and signs, because they wanted nothing to do with TforT being connected with an adult toy store.

Don’t worry though, Pleasures will continue to prominently display the logo on its website as the toy drive continues through Dec. 15.

By the way, Pleasures is the first drive-thru adult novelty store in the nation.

2.) Our friends over at Frisky have some cute toys to warm your holiday season, giving a wild new twist on where to place a mistletoe and what exactly we are stuffing our stockings with. I know the candy cane jocks and little naughty elf outfits seem to be in overabundant supply these days, but some of this stuff is kind of fun and really, if you can’t wiggle your branch this time of year, when else are you going to get the opportunity?

3.) It seems there is lots of sex being had at or after UK Christmas parties and The British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS) has launched a service this year where women can request the morning-after-pill over the phone to get it delivered free of charge to their home. Hoping to help prevent unwanted pregnancies over the Christmas and New Year period, the BPAS claim British ladies face barriers obtaining the pill-not being able to get appointments, health workers refusing to provide it, the £25 cost-and claim these hindrances increase at Christmas when chemists and surgeries (the UK equivalent of our pharmacies) may be closed.

4.) Right here in good old NYC there is a one-act theater festival presently running with some sexy titles that might indeed, as this theatre’s web site proclaims “warm the long December nights.” Cold Snaps 2011 by the WorkShop Playwrights runs until December 17^th, presenting such naughty sounding morsels as “A Brief Romance,” “The Language Of Love,” and “Sexy Friday” plus five others. Find them here:
http://www.workshoptheater.org/node/1962

So, a little shopping, some news (here and abroad) and a place to come in out of the cold to see some new one-acts; man I am really in a gift giving mood, huh?

Yet here in the U.S. we have a Federally funded abstinence education program which has funneled nearly $179 million bucks to our states for abstinence education programs since 1998.

I double-dog dare you to reread that sentence and not get pissed-off.

Under our current admin (not a conservative one to be sure, the people we usually assume will be all-in for this kind of malarky) Title V (abstinence-only) funding has been extended to the states for another five years! Incredibly, only 13 states even require that the information presented in sex education classes be medically accurate…maybe that’s one of the reasons abstinence-only education doesn’t stick?

Actually, I think it’s because kids want to fuck, pure and simple. I think that raging hormones might lead you to some dangerous activities at any age and that rubbing pink parts against the pink parts of someone you are attracted to feels too good not to do. No matter what kids are taught, they are just like adults not going to want to stop their sexual activities once they begin them.

From theologians to statesmen, to your parents and even your very best friends, there will always be people who are down on getting-down or at least down on engaging multiple partners. And while I will champion anyone’s right to do what they want or not want to do with their body, I damn well don’t want to spend federal funds on educating people in a program that has been shown to be scientifically unsound and one that presents a lifestyle choice I feel is up to the individual to decide and not for our government to mandate.

Ultimately abstinence-only education promotes sexual abstinence until marriage (I smell a religious text in the mix, don’t you…ah, once again that good old church/state separation we think exists in our government but really doesn’t) and avoids even the discussion of contraceptive methods. Contrarily a comprehensive sex education program, one which would offer the options of contraceptive use as well as abstinence (which I recall learning way back in high school before electricity was invented) seems to me a more powerful use of tax dollars.

But really, what do I know? I am just one anecdotal voice, a single datum trying to just get laid like you.

What are you’re thoughts?

I had the occasion to speak with Stacy about her organization and what she and Justina are trying to accomplish with the Bare Naked Bake Sale.

The bake sale began from some posing for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, correct?

Yes, last year Justina posed topless with a group of women for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The photos were very tasteful and that led to significant press, radio interviews, and donations for the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Still, Justina believed there was unfulfilled potential to raise even more funds. So she brainstormed, and Bare Naked Bake Sale was born.

I always wonder about altruistic concerns, if when you really get up and running that you find you are inundated with requests?

We’ve actually already had very positive responses from photographers, volunteers to model, and local businesses who love what we’re doing and want to participate. The great thing about our platform is that it’s meant to accommodate everyone who has a cause to raise funds for and wants to do it in a fun, provocative way. We couldn’t possibly do individual photos shoots and campaigns for all of the great causes out there to support, so we let users create a profile on our website telling what they want to raise money for, upload photos that have any states of undress–from implied to full to semi-nudity, and we promote alongside them to draw attention to their cause and meet their fundraising goals.

Have you found any criticism to the nudity or is the fact that you are obviously working for such wonderful causes keep you free from people tsk-tsking?

We seem to get more people afraid of tsk=tsking than people actually tsk-tsking. When we approach people about posing for the charities, they typically love the idea and respond positively. The charities that keep us at arm’s length probably do so out of concern on how their public audience will respond to nudity in their fundraising message.

Would you’re company work with a private, non-charitable campaign?

Absolutely. On our platform, we can accept everyone with a cause to promote or a project to raise funds for. All we look for is that the photos and fundraising come from a desire to change the world. We don’t just want naked photos, we want photos that tell a story and drive others to connect with a cause.

Who bakes and who is nude?

Too funny! Our name Bare Naked Bake Sale is leading people to think we’re bakers, but it was just meant to be a cute play on the way some fundraisers try to raise money–via bake sales! But we think our way is more fun…and naked.

What’s coming-up and where can people find you?

We’re focusing on introducing people to our site right now and helping them create their own photo fundraisers on our platform. We’ve launched in Invite-Only Beta mode, so folks can sign up for an invitation to the site here. We’re also on Facebook a lot showing sneak peeks of our photos, event announcements, and contests, so check us out on Facebook, Twitter and our website, which we just launched today. You can find the Fallen Heroes Fund here.