Kiehl’s Portable Essence Oils


In high school, I spent most of my time in the ladies room, squatting on toilets, exhaling smoke out of a tiny window. Usually, there were a couple of us per stall and on occasion we would be smoking something other than cigarettes. On one of these occasions, we were caught by a teacher during bathroom patrol.

As we waited outside of the principal’s office, I took the opportunity to spray half a bottle of Obsession by Calvin Klein all over myself. I was still stoned and therefore unable to smell, see or hear properly. We were called into the principal’s office, seated in a semicircle and awaiting our sentencing. It was at that moment when I noticed a partially full dime bag sitting on the carpeting of the principal’s floor. I surmised that it must have fallen out of my pocket. Luckily, the principals olfactory senses were so distracted by my intense perfume, he didn’t notice and rather questioned us about the strong odor in the room. “Why,” I replied, while dragging the bag towards me with the heel of my shoe, “it’s Obsession, by Calvin Klein.” If you would like to distract others from criminal behavior or a less than becoming personality trait, you can still achieve maximum results with a more subtle and modern approach. Kiehl’s Portable Essence Oils in Amber, Gardenia, Chinese Flowers, Cucumber, Pear and Pour Homme are delicious, compact and perfect for those times when you need a little olfactory assistance.

Sheehan McGuirk

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