I’m trying desperately, I really am. The almost 70 degrees, the sunshine, the super nice people with their super nice smiles and tans; it’s rough being here in L.A. when all of you back home are cuddled deep and enjoying the winter wonderland.

I don’t happen to be one of those New Yorkers who coddles an instant hatred of L.A., but don’t worry (as if you were) I’m not moving anytime soon. Out here in the land of the midnight breast implant I figured I’d make the most of my time and do some reporting for THE SEX FILES.

To this end I visited two of the premier Los Angeles sex shops.

Tucked into a little corner of Santa Monica Blvd is the premier fetish shop in town The Pleasure Chest. A bunker-like two-story affair, the first floor of the shop is for the lightweight kinkster, mostly games and cards, some clothes, just the spot for girls shopping for embarrassing sex gifts for a bachelorette party.

The second floor is the hardcore stuff (including the little swinging seat you see pictured). This is where our friends Jimmy Jane show their wares and all manner of dildos (and a lot of dildos at that) vibrators and serious kink items from whips to sounds to chains have their home. Expecting a larger store from an episode of Entourage I recently caught that featured P.C. (yes T.V. does make things seem bigger) still the place was pretty chock-full and sported what seemed to be a pretty knowledgeable sales staff.

From the Pleasure Chest one simply needs to visit the sprawling Hustler store on the Sunset Strip.

Literally across the street from Whisky A Go-Go (The Whisky for us in the know) the first thing you notice about Larry Flint’s store is the porn-walk-of-fame at the very entrance to the place. Like those infamous hands and feet in the cement up on Hollywood Blvd, Hustler celebrates their own stars by featuring a few of porn’s luminaries on the side walk right outside the store.

Inside there are mostly clothes, but quite the wide array. One can buy black feather wings (yes wings), all manner of naughty lingerie, shoes (and quite a shoe collection at that) and Hustler products from DVD’s to signature T-shirts and hats to of course the magazine down in the café, which supposedly sells some of the best coffee concoctions in town and opens an hour earlier than the rest of the store. Bigger than the Chest, certainly more mainstream (as mainstream as a porn shop can get) better lit and with a friendlier staff, Hustler won the day.

Whether or not we have better stores, are more appointed for kink (I’m quite the fan of Kinematics on 37th) I certainly would never make a comparison between New York City and L.A….you know which has my heart. I simply wanted to say hello from the west coast and make sure you guys are bundled-up well.

See ya soon kids.

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