THE SEX FILES: An Interview with Madam Director/Lola-PART 1

Photo credit: Mistrexx Mars

The fetching, seriously sexy, dangerously adept domina/filmmaker based in NYC almost exclusively now just films the scenes of her art and work, often alongside her sub “Peaches.” I came across the lady’s terribly erotic scenes on one of the many portals I peruse in my research for this column (and if you believe it was only research, I have the ubiquitous bridge for sale in…) and was so taken with the petite brunette I had to reach out to see if she might be amiable to give me the skinny on the work she does, how she does it and how she is ‘doing’ it in this day and age. Read on and don’t say I didn’t warn you how hot this all might get…


As I usually do with the folks I meet in the adult or kink world, especially those pursuing things on a professional level, may I ask, How did a ‘nice’ girl like you end up spanking for fun and profit?


Well, I don’t really identify as “nice” or a “girl,” but I’ll answer the question. It’s sort of a long answer; I’ll do my best to be brief. I became a sex worker in my early 20s, just prior to the recession of 2008. I started as a stripper in a small topless go-go sort of club. A man came into that club and recruited me to appear in fetish videos. This was near the beginnings, really, of porn on the internet that you could instantly download and watch. This person who recruited me, ran a now well-known Femdom content creation company. I worked with that company both on and off-camera until 2021. Around 2014 I also began working as a mistress in a dungeon in Chelsea, which closed a few months later, as so many dungeons did at that time. I continued working as an independent mistress from 2014 onwards, and in 2018, I decided that I wanted to produce some of my own content. Serendipitously, I met my friend Peaches the week that I decided to form my own video production company and began making videos with him. Peaches and I immediately had a strong connection. Peaches is a spanko, and so a lot of the content to emerge from our collaboration has been influenced by his love and knowledge of spanking. In 2021 I decided to really focus on my own work. I still love to collaborate with other creators but no longer work for anyone but myself.


Are there things you can get into or like to get into when filming scenes that you do not like to do in person with someone and vice versa?


I learned a long time ago that consumers of your video content will treat the videos sort of like advertisements for in-person sessions. As a model, you never really want to do something on camera that you wouldn’t do in a session because once the viewers see it, they will likely want to experience it themselves. Now, this may change. We are now in a post-SESTA-FOSTA world. I am no longer taking new clients for in-person sessions because new anti-sex trafficking legislation makes it much more difficult to arrange anything in-person. In fact, just saying that you offer in-person meetings can jeopardize your ability to host content on many platforms as it is in violation of most terms of service. I actually do love things like receiving oral sex and fucking, but these are not things that I do on camera or in session. I have decided not to include them in sessions or on-camera, really just as a matter of personal risk and business complexity.


What are your favorite kinks to engage in…least fave, and why on both?


Personally, I don’t really focus on ‘favorite kinks.’ And I don’t engage in anything I am uninterested in. A satisfying scene for me is more about connecting with a partner. That said, I think something that comes up for me a lot in my sexuality is a fluidity of identity that lends itself very well to a D/s dynamic; this is actually maybe my strongest and most indelible kink. I see it emerge in scenes where I want to sort of transgress the mind or body of the submissive, explore or cross a boundary between self and not-self. I see it also emerge in the way I shoot and direct porn. I like to shoot a lot of different point-of-view shots and insert them into the scene. Then when I’m editing, I’ll pull footage. Now I want to see the point of view of the bottom as he is looking at the top’s feet while being spanked, then draw back the view and see the scene as an outside observer, then jump into the top’s point of view and see the bottom’s ass getting redder. I like to feel as though I can jump into different bodies and see the world through another’s thoughts and actions.


As a pro dom, what are your hard limit no’s?


I don’t really do a lot of pro-domming anymore. Currently, I session out of my apartment. Clearly, for this reason, I am highly, highly selective about who I see. The relationships I have with the subs do have a transactional element, but they are also most definitely relationships. I guess by that, I mean the relationship I have with my in-person subs is more like the relationship between a therapist and patient, even though I would never make the claim that my work is therapeutic. I just mean that I have that level of rapport. It’s more like that and less like a rotating barista on shift at the Starbucks sort of vibe because consumer needs their 4 pm habitual latte, if that makes sense. I’m not the “latte” dispenser. Maybe this is a little unclear as a metaphor because I’m sure some people have a pretty intimate rapport with their Starbucks barista. Also, I have absolutely had points in my career where I was sort of a ‘kink dispenser,’ and there is really nothing wrong with it so long as that’s how the relationship is negotiated and defined. It’s just not how I choose to work now.


In negotiating consent, I don’t generally start with the ‘no’s.’ I start with the ‘enthusiastic yeses.’ Once I have established the mutual ‘yeses,’ then I do not deviate or incorporate anything into the scene that has not had a ‘yes’ assigned to it. I don’t need to know the perhaps hundreds of hard ‘no’s.’ I could do an interesting scene with someone with just one mutual ‘yes.’ The yeses and no’s are, of course, going to vary from situation to situation and partner to partner. For example, I just agreed to have a baby with my husband. That was a’ yes’ with him. It’s going to absolutely be a hard ‘no’ with anyone else.


You can find the amazing videos from and more about Madam Director here:


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