Back in 2014, writer Sabrina Rubin Erdely published her “A Rape On Campus” article. In that article, a University of Virginia woman, named “Jackie” to protect her privacy, claimed she was raped by multiple members of the on-campus frat Phi Kappa Psi. Rapes on college campuses, the UVA among them, have been reported and proven to have happened for years, a sad state of student life no one is disputing the validity of. But soon it came clear that Jackie’s claims were suspect; Rolling Stone was investigated by other journals questioning the facts of Erdely’s reporting and local police found many inconsistencies in Jackie’s account.

Look, we all gotta chill. If you humped for Hillary, I’m sorry she lost (that Javitz Center is a really big place when you’re just waiting and waiting for hours, huh?). If you were all out for Trump, well, yippee for you. But try and get a grip either way. In the end, be truthful, have you ever truly seen much of a difference in your life with whose in office, really? And most importantly, has who has ever been in office ever truly affected your sex life (except maybe for Bill C and how jealous he made you feel with what he managed with a certain intern and a cigar?) Take a breath, recharge the vibe and spin round some Clips4sale movies (you’re certainly going to find lots more male adult performers not wearing condoms in the future) and remember, if nobody’s near, you always have self-love.